Rayne (rayne_sotd) wrote,
Rayne
rayne_sotd

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ouch..

All is well in the land of Hyster. I went to the Doctor yesterday for my first checkup and he said so far so good. He was shocked that I havent taken my pain meds in about a week, and that I was moving around and acting as if nothing has ever happend. But c'mon, I am the chick that went home from a c-section days early and started cleaning the house - sans pain meds LOL! Jason says I have an abnormally high pain tolerance. But thats the thing.. there ISNT any pain to tolerate. Which brings him to another conclusion, that never even occured to me.

After my daughter was taken from us, they did a battery of tests on her.. well, a year after actually. Tests we had been demanding they do to begin with, tests WE had been trying to get done from the get go. Angel was BiPolar, we knew that, but she still wet the bed, and she didnt care. By that I mean, she could wake in the morning SOAKED in a wet pull up (we're talking 7 years old here) sometimes even with diarriah and walk around like she was totally dry, and not even care, until someone made her wash and put panties on. Obviously, that isnt normal. So part of these tests they did was an MRI, and alot of genetic testing and stuff. Nuerological things. They found out some VERY intersting things. But the thing I am referring to now isthat Angel had this small abnormality at the base of her spine, and it made it so she couldnt feel a small amount of things from the waist down. We think that is why she wet at night (she still does, she is 10 now) and why in the morning, she had no idea. She couldnt feel it. I dont know why,during the day it wasnt a problem.. maybe because she was alert and aware of having to go. I dont know. Unfortunatly the bastards at DHS wouldnt give us copies of the Doctor's reports, so Im going off of memory here.

Jason said yesterday that the reason I have been able to "recover" so fast from all of my abdominal surgeries (all waist down) is that *maybe* I have the same thing. Maybe I cant feel the extent of whats going on, and thats why I dont think it hurts. *shrugs* I just like to think Im super girl ;)


We went to breakfast today with his Grandpa (I ♥ Grandpa) and while we were waiting for a table, this family that I have known for YEARS was just leaving. The guy, who had been in my grade throughout school and was one of few friends I had, and still *sorta* was when I went to my home town looked straight at me, then tried to walk by me... So I slammed him with my purse >:D
.. which forced him to stop and say hi, then his sister came next and she said Hi, then his Mother came, and she said Hi.. and he looked at his wife, who had also gone to school with us, 2 grades below, and asked if we had met, and she pretended like she didnt know me!!! I was like "yes, we've met.. a few times. *glare* These people, all of them have always been nothing but nice to me, always having nice hellos and hugs, his being a bit more friendlier then most.. which, of course I was not expecting here because I know he is VERY in love with his new wife :).
But this greeting was all very strained, very.. uncomfortable, like they all wished they could make themselves.. or me probably, disappear.They quickly left, I was standing there stuffing my dignity back into my purse. I dont know why it was like that. It really hurt me though. I could totally be overreacting, Im pretty good at that. I am totally emotional, I can admit that. But this was weird. They - the entire family, have NEVER been like that with me. I tried to call my mom to find out what was going on, but she just blew me off before I got the chance to ask, so of course, I hung up, pulled the blankets over my head (literally, because I was in bed LOL) and started crying. Not becuase of what happend, just because I am sick of being blown off by her. Im sick of being treated like im invisable in my family. (ie: my mom and siblings family) My brother is cool, he doesnt treat me like that, but my oldest sister is pissed at me because of my husband's opinion, so I dont exsist to her, my little sister doesnt talk to me because we made her deal with her own problems, my mom only calls when she absolutly must.. I almost died with shock she even showed at the hospital when I had surgery. She was there when I woke up, and for about 5 minutes of my incoherentness.. and never showed or called again. I suppose she felt her motherly duty was done.

I need a beer.
Tags: poor me
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